What do you need to get a cell phone contract in Spain?

Detective Pux here, and I've been asked to investigate the age-old question of what it takes to get a cell phone contract in Spain. Now, I may not be an expert on the intricacies of Spanish telecommunications law, but I do know a thing or two about getting what you want. So buckle up, folks, and let's dive into this mystery.

First things first: if you want to get a cell phone contract in Spain, you're going to need some kind of identification. Now, I know what you're thinking: "But Detective Pux, what if I'm a secret agent and I don't want anyone to know my real name?" Well, tough luck, buddy. The Spanish government takes their ID requirements pretty seriously, so unless you're willing to undergo some serious plastic surgery, you're going to have to show some ID.

Now, if you're a Spanish citizen, you can use your DNI (Documento Nacional de Identidad) to prove your identity. But if you're a foreigner, things get a little trickier. You'll need a valid passport or NIE (Número de Identificación de Extranjero) to sign up for a cell phone contract.

But that's not all! You'll also need a Spanish bank account. Why, you ask? Because the cell phone companies in Spain like to make things difficult, that's why. They want to make sure they can charge you for your monthly plan, and they don't trust those foreign bank accounts.

So, what if you're a foreigner and you don't have a Spanish bank account? Well, you'll have to open one. And trust me, that's no easy feat. You'll need to fill out a ton of paperwork, provide a bunch of personal information, and wait in line at the bank for hours. And if you don't speak Spanish, good luck trying to navigate the whole process.

But let's say you've managed to jump through all those hoops and you've got your ID and your Spanish bank account. You're almost there! Now you just need to choose a cell phone plan and sign on the dotted line.

Here's where things get really fun. You see, the cell phone companies in Spain like to offer a variety of plans, each with its own set of confusing terms and conditions. Some plans come with unlimited data, but you'll have to pay extra for international calls. Other plans offer free calls and texts, but you'll be limited to a certain amount of data each month.

And if you think you can just breeze through the fine print and sign up for the first plan you see, think again. These companies like to hide all sorts of sneaky fees and charges in their contracts. Want to cancel your plan early? That'll be 100 euros, please. Want to add a second line to your plan? That'll be another 50 euros per month.

So, in conclusion, if you want to get a cell phone contract in Spain, you'll need a valid ID, a Spanish bank account, and the patience of a saint. But don't worry, it's all worth it in the end. Because once you've got your shiny new phone and your fancy new plan, you'll be able to call, text, and browse to your heart's content. And who knows, maybe you'll even get lucky and find a plan that doesn't charge you an arm and a leg for international calls.

And if all else fails, just remember the golden rule of cell phone contracts: read the fine print, and don't trust anyone. Except me, of course. Detective Pux always has your back.