Detective Pux here, ready to dive into the world of home shopping networks and the possibilities of Jesus being a pitchman.

First of all, let's get one thing straight: Jesus was a man of miracles, not marketing. He didn't have time for hawking products on infomercials or shilling for a home shopping network. He was too busy changing water into wine, healing the sick, and spreading the word of God.

But let's just say for a moment that Jesus did decide to branch out into the world of retail. What would his pitch be? Well, I can imagine him sitting in a luxurious home setting, a beatific smile on his face as he holds up a simple clay jug.

"Are you tired of the same old boring tap water?" Jesus would ask, looking directly into the camera. "Are you looking for something with a little more...je ne sais quoi? Well, look no further, my friends. This is the same jug I used to turn water into wine at the wedding in Cana. That's right, this is the real deal. And the best part? It doesn't matter what kind of water you use, this jug will turn it into the finest wine you've ever tasted. It's a miracle in a bottle!"

The crowd would go wild, of course, and the phones would be ringing off the hook as people clamored to get their hands on their very own miracle jug. But wait, there's more!

Jesus would then hold up a small vial filled with a clear liquid. "This is the oil I used to heal the sick," he would say. "It's the same oil that helped the blind to see, the lame to walk, and the sick to be made well. And now, it can be yours! Just add a few drops to your food, or use it to anoint your body, and you'll be amazed at the results. It's like having a piece of Heaven right in your own home!"

And the offers wouldn't stop there. Next up, Jesus would unveil a piece of cloth. "This is the cloth I used to wipe the feet of my disciples," he would say, "and it's imbued with the same healing powers as the oil. Use it to cleanse and heal your own feet, or give it as a gift to a loved one. It's a symbol of love and devotion that will last a lifetime."

Finally, Jesus would hold up a small scroll. "This is the original manuscript of the Sermon on the Mount," he would say. "It's the same speech that inspired millions and changed the world. And now, you can own a piece of history. This scroll is a testament to the power of faith and the words of God. It's a treasure that will be passed down through generations."

And there you have it, folks. The ultimate home shopping experience, brought to you by the one and only Jesus Christ. So why not call now and treat yourself to a little bit of Heaven on earth?

Of course, all of this is pure fiction and I'm sure Jesus would never want to use his powers to make money. He was a man of faith and love, not commerce. It's important to remember that Jesus's teachings were about love and compassion and not materialism.