If you could rename the largest airports in the USA...

Detective Pux here, reporting for duty with a very important case: if I could rename the largest airports in the USA, what funny names would I give them? Well, buckle up, dear reader, because I've got some pun-tastic ideas for you.

  1. Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport -> Peaches and Planes Airport Because let's be real, when you think of Atlanta, you think of sweet, juicy peaches. And what better way to honor that than by renaming the airport after the fruit that Georgia is famous for? Plus, it's a nod to the fact that Atlanta is one of the busiest airports in the world, with planes constantly coming and going like clockwork.

  2. Los Angeles International Airport -> LAX-tastic Airport It's no secret that LA loves its trendy, hipster lingo, so why not lean into that with a name like "LAX-tastic"? Not only is it a nod to the airport's official code, but it also implies that flying in and out of LAX is a totally awesome and groovy experience.

  3. O'Hare International Airport -> Windy City Airport Chicago is known as the "Windy City," so why not lean into that with the airport's name? Sure, it's not the most original idea, but it's definitely fitting. And who knows, maybe they could install giant fans at the airport to really live up to the name.

  4. Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport -> Cowtown Airport As someone who grew up in Texas, I can tell you that the state's unofficial mascot is the cow. So why not pay homage to that with a name like "Cowtown Airport"? It's quirky, it's fun, and it lets everyone know that they're in Texas, y'all.

  5. Denver International Airport -> Mile High Club Airport Okay, hear me out. Yes, "mile high club" has a certain connotation, but it's also a nod to the fact that Denver is literally a mile above sea level. Plus, it's a bit cheeky and unexpected, which is always a good thing in my book.

  6. JFK International Airport -> Jet Setters Airport When you think of JFK, you think of glamorous celebrities and world leaders arriving in their private jets. So why not lean into that with a name like "Jet Setters Airport"? It's catchy, it's fun, and it captures the spirit of JFK perfectly.

  7. San Francisco International Airport -> Golden Gate Gateway Airport San Francisco is known for its iconic Golden Gate Bridge, so why not make that the focus of the airport's name? "Golden Gate Gateway" is a bit of a mouthful, but it's memorable and has a nice ring to it.

  8. Miami International Airport -> Salsa and Sun Airport Miami is known for its lively salsa dancing scene and its sunny weather, so why not pay tribute to those things with a name like "Salsa and Sun Airport"? It's fun, it's catchy, and it makes you want to pack your bags and head to Miami ASAP.

  9. Philadelphia International Airport -> Liberty Bell Landing Philadelphia is known as the birthplace of American independence, so why not honor that with a name like "Liberty Bell Landing"? It's a bit of a tongue twister, but it's memorable and captures the city's spirit perfectly.

  10. Las Vegas McCarran International Airport -> Sin City Skyport Last but certainly not least, we have Las Vegas. This city is known for its over-the-top, no-holds-barred attitude, so why not reflect that in the airport's name? "Sin City Skyport" has a nice ring to it, and it lets everyone know that they're in for a wild ride when they land in Las Vegas. Plus, it's a bit of a nod to the fact that Las Vegas is known for its adult entertainment industry, which is definitely not for the faint of heart.

Well, there you have it, folks - my top ten picks for funny names to rename the largest airports in the USA. Whether you love them or hate them, one thing's for sure: these names would definitely make you do a double take when you see them on your boarding pass. As always, stay safe, stay curious, and keep laughing!